OLD FASHIONED FAMILY VALUES – WE NEED THEM NOW MORE THAN EVER
LOVE, SECURITY, ATTENTION, TIME, COMMUNICATION– These are the things that matter, the things that make a family strong, the things that will keep families together.
STREES, whether it is caused by long working hours, financial issues
or any of the many troubles families are facing on a daily basis – try to remember these pressures can affect every member of the family:
. Remember children want you (the parents) a lot more than they want the extra holiday, new pair of jeans or a bigger house. Never underestimate how important your interaction with them is. Their security, confidence, self esteem is built around their family lives. If they feel loved, secure and happy at home, they will be a lot less likely to encounter bullying, negative social behavior, lack of interest in school.
. Try to concentrate on what matters most – many families end up in conflict over financial matters. Sit down together and agree what is important to you as a family and not to the neighbors down the road. Every home is individual; keep your home individual to you.
. Stress leads to arguing – please never think your child does not hear you arguing. Children have a very strong desire to know what is going on and if that means listening outside the door or out on the landing then that is what many of them will do. The problem is many of them will only hear half the story and tend to fill in the missing pieces themselves. This is rarely on the positive side.
Try to argue outside the house or in the background of TV noise/music or where possible explain in a child friendly way the reality of what you are discussing, to your children, so they are not worrying unnecessarily. Children do tend to worry about anything that may affect the security of their home.
. We as parents can only do our best, old-fashioned family values and open communication are usually enough. Concentrate on the small stuff and everything else will follow in a much more positive way.
. Take time to realize what you have and try not to concentrate so much on what you don’t have. A strong family will survive any storm – in 20 years your children will remember your love, kindness, family tradition a lot more than they will remember what you were wearing, what car you drove, how successful your job was.
. Remember what you recall from your childhood – the bedtime stories, hot chocolate at the weekends, family walks/outings, hot bottles in the bed, playing cards together by the fire, camping in the garden, other families visiting regularly – they don’t cost much but give me one child who does not love each and every one of these family get-togethers – remember the small stuff matters – a lot.