Posts Tagged :

    self-belief

    STUDENT PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

     

    JumpStartYourConfidence launches:

    PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT WORKSHOPS FOR STUDENTS

    (Primary and Secondary Schools)

    There is an inordinate amount of pressure on young people in school and socially today – from exam pressures to self-image concerns to trying to deal with the daily pressures of growing up – when facing the ongoing pressure of Social Media.

    Young people need a chance to connect with themselves and learn about who they are.  They need to be able to help themselves to grow in a positive way, physically and mentally.  To allow themselves to become ‘the best they can be’.

     

    These workshops aim to give students the tools to achieve this in a positive and interactive environment.

    Please give me a call on 0868112110 or email at eileenkeanehaly@gmail.com should you have any queries on these workshops.

    Please click on link below for more details.

     

    Student Personal Development

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    CONFIDENCE COACHING FOR KIDS

    Life Coaching is not just for adults – why wait?

    Confidence Coaching for Kids is a very effective way to help your child to deal with the ups and downs of growing up.  Every child will benefit from Confidence Coaching as it gives them the tools to deal with the many different challenges they may face on a daily basis;

    Dealing with peer pressure

    Learning to love themselves

    Knowing how to learn from their mistakes

    Learning how to to take responsibility for their actions

    Learning how to make and keep friends

    Learning how to make good decisions

     

    Stories are one of the most effective ways to make positive changes with kids.  Each of these workshops are explained through different stories in a fun and interactive way.

    Why wait?  

    Give your child the best gift you can give him – the tools to grow into a strong, confident, happy teenager and adult.

    “It’s not what Happens to you, but how you REACT to it that matters”. – Epictetus

     

     

     

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    How can we help our kids to discover their Gifts & Talents?

    Using the 7 Types of Intelligences to Help Your Kids Discover Their Gifts & Talents

    Grades, “IQ” tests, and other standardised tests have caused major debates amongst parents and the education community because many believe they don’t measure the “whole child”.

    Although these tests might predict how a child will perform in school, they don’t predict which children will become powerful leaders, accomplished composers, unique artists, great musicians, creative inventors, professional athletes, top-ranked sales people, inspirational teachers, spiritual leaders, or great writers.

    In his ground breaking book “Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences”, Harvard Psychology Professor Howard Gardner asked a different question. Instead of asking “How smart are you?” he asked the question “How are you smart?”

    What a powerful question for parents to explore with their kids!

    In his book Gartner outlines 7 different segments of intelligence. Although each person exhibits some level of ability in all areas, most people tend to shine in two or three areas. As parents and mentors we have an opportunity to help our kids explore each of these segments in more depth so they can discover and further develop their natural talents and abilities.

    The 7 intelligences are grouped into what Gardner calls three different “frames of mind”:
    Linguistic Intelligence and Logical-mathematical Intelligence which are categorised as “academic” and emphasised by public schools and IQ tests.
    Musical Intelligence, Bodily-kinesthetic Intelligence, and Visual-spatial Intelligence which tend to be categorised as artistic abilities.
    Interpersonal Intelligence and Intrapersonal Intelligence which are categorised as “people skills”.

    Let’s understand each in more detail and look at how we can help our kids explore each area.

    Linguistic Intelligence
    Children with strong linguistic intelligence tend to think in words. They love to read, write, play word games, study foreign languages, etc. Professions include areas such as writers, journalists, interpreters, and attorneys. If you think your child has talent in this area, he can explore it further by participating in a journalism club or debate club, by writing, or by studying a foreign language.

    Logical-mathematical Intelligence
    Children with strong logical-mathematical intelligence tend to think conceptually. They love numbers, patterns, mathematics, and science. Professions include areas such as engineering, computer science, research science, medicine, and accounting. Schools provide a lot of opportunities for children to explore this area of intelligence.

    Visual-spatial Intelligence
    Children with strong spatial intelligence are strong at working in three dimensions. They tend to love maps, models, and building things. Professions include areas such as architecture and interior design, photography, engineering, and mechanics. You can help your child develop in this area by giving her models to build (including Legos!), having her create maps, or by taking a photography class.

    Bodily-kinesthetic Intelligence
    Children with strong Kinesthetic Intelligence tend to process knowledge through physical touch. They will learn more by doing an activity versus reading about the activity. Professions include areas such as sports, dancing, theatre, firefighter, and any work that requires them to be good with their hands. If you think your child has a natural intelligence in this area encourage her to explore many avenues of physical expression – sports, dance, acting, sewing, woodworking, etc.

    Musical Intelligence
    Children with strong musical intelligence tend to think in terms of sounds and rhythms. Professions include areas such as performing and/or composing music. Encourage your child to study a musical instrument, participate in a choir, and explore a wide variety of music genres.

    Interpersonal Intelligence
    Children with strong interpersonal intelligence understand people – they are good with communication, relationships, and getting along with others. Professions include areas such as teaching, counselling, marketing and sales, management, non-profits, medicine, and politics. Provide opportunities for your child to work with and lead others. Examples include participating in Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, mentoring programs, volunteer organisations, and other clubs.

    Intra personal Intelligence
    Children with strong intra personal intelligence really understand themselves. They are deep thinkers and tend to be self-motivated. Professions include writing, philosophy, psychology, clergy, and art. If your child exhibits strengths in this area, give her time to be alone to think and create.

    So why is understanding these areas of intelligence so important?

    First, if your child tends to struggle in the traditional classroom finding other areas where he can excel can greatly enhance his self-esteem and joy in life. Whenever kids feel they are good at something it enhances their self-esteem and self-confidence.

    Second, when kids understand more about “how they are smart”, it enables them to choose extracurricular activities, classes, and careers that leverage their strengths and natural abilities.

    And finally, even if your child does well in school, exploring all areas of intelligence will empower your kids to find their passion and purpose in life. When people create lives based on a passion and a sense of purpose they tend to live happy fulfilling lives. They also excel at whatever profession they choose because they are passionate about it and believe they can make a difference.
    It is so important to help our kids learn to understand their own talents and believe in them. If we, their parents cannot believe in them – who will?
    How many of us ended up in careers for the wrong reasons?
    How many of us would have made different choices if we had someone behind us who believed in us, whatever our strengths were?

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    Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem? Part 2

     

    In the last article we asked the question, does your child have yo-yo self-esteem? Recall that Yo-yo self-esteem occurs when children’s self esteem rises and falls with the ups and downs of their lives (i.e. how they did in school, played in their soccer game, etc.).
    We talked about how important it is for children to base their self-esteem on who they are and not on what is happening outside of them so that their self-esteem remains intact no matter what is going on in their lives.

    Today we’ll learn three additional tips for supporting your kids in developing solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life:

    The fourth tip is to encourage your kids to identify and honour their own uniqueness. We are all unique in our own special way. Have your kids really think about what they love about themselves – from their values, to their character, to their gifts and talents. Have them make an “I love me!” poster which illustrates what they love about themselves. When kids focus on what they love about themselves, their self-esteem will soar.

    Fifth, talk with them about the power of positive self-talk. What they say to themselves is more important than what anyone else says to them. When kids learn to talk to themselves with love, compassion, and support, their self-esteem will soar.

    Finally, teach your children how to handle the “downs” in life. Teach them how to manage mistakes and failure so that they don’t define themselves by these events. Teach them how to manage fear so that fear doesn’t keep them from their dreams. Teach them how to manage change so they feel powerful in their lives and see themselves as capable and worthy.

    Learning to handle the “downs” in life as events, not only enhances self-esteem, but also leads to strong self-confidence as kids learn that they can handle anything that comes their way.

    Kids Coaching covers all of the areas listed above through stories and activities . If anyone has any questions regarding Kids Confidence Coaching please call me on 0868112110 or comment here. thanks
    As we mentioned in the last article no matter how much we love our kids or how much time we spend with them, we can’t give them self-esteem, but what we can do is help them develop it in themselves. Start this week by sharing the six tips from these two articles.

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    Does Your Child Have YoYo Self-Esteem?

    Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall with the test results she gets?

    Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall depending on who played with him at school that day?

    Does your child’s self-esteem crumble if she makes a mistake?

    If so, then your child is suffering from yo-yo self-esteem — self-esteem that rises and falls with the ups and downs of life.
    How kids feel about themselves often depends on what is going on in their life – what is going on outside of them.
    However, powerful self-esteem isn’t based on what is going on outside of you (what is happening in your life). Powerful self-esteem is based on what is going on inside of you — who you are and how you think about yourself.
    When kids base their self-esteem on “who they are” then their self-esteem can remain intact no matter what is going on in their lives.
    So if your children have yo-yo self-esteem, how do you help them shift from external focus to internal focus?

    Here are the first three of six tips for helping your kids develop solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life:

    First talk with them about what self-esteem is. Teach them that self-esteem is based on who they are, not what they do.

    Second, teach them how to separate the results of an event from who they are. For example, if they fail a test, that is just an event – something that happened. Just because they failed a test, doesn’t mean they are a failure. It just means they didn’t learn the material well enough to get the right answers on the majority of the questions – that’s it. Let your kids know that it’s OK to feel down; however, there is a difference between feeling down about a bad test result and feeling down on yourself because of a bad grade. Help your children understand this distinction and their self-esteem will flourish.

    Third, teach them about the dangers of comparison. When kids compare themselves to others – seeing themselves as “better than” or “less than” another, they are looking externally to determine how to feel about themselves. This sets them up for yo-yo self-esteem because they will feel good about themselves whenever they see themselves as “better than” another and they will feel bad about themselves every time they see themselves as “less than” another. This not only devastates self-esteem, but also creates jealousy, resentment, and a belief of “not good enough”.

    Unfortunately self-esteem isn’t something you can give your kids; however, it is something you can teach them to develop in themselves. Start today by sharing these first three tips with them. In the next article we will cover the last three tips.

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    How We Can Help Our Children To Talk About Feelings – Help Them To Be Strong Confident Adults – Help Them To Be Themselves

     

    This is an area I believe will become an even bigger problem in generations to come if we do not teach our younger generation it is ok ‘not to be perfect’. There are many levels of mental health, so many start with low self-esteem and self-belief. We are all affected by how others view us, those with low self-esteem can be deeply affected. When talking to students I often ask them – “if you have a pain in your tummy, would you tell your friend?” All answer, “Yes of course”.

    “If you are feeling low, upset, angry, confused, overwhelmed, would you tell your friend?” “Mmmm, maybe not”, was the reply from many.

    Why? Why are we so afraid of being honest about our emotional health? Physical health and emotional health are equal in importance and yet there is such a stigma attached to talking about feelings, admitting that all is not perfect.

    This comes up again and again in my area of work. Kids feel ‘no one’ likes them – they may feel they are not cool enough, smart enough, pretty enough, popular enough…. this is so sad and can have a very deep impact on them emotionally.

    Teenagers may feel they are not cool, not part of the cool gang, too fat, too thin, their skin is a problem, their hair is a problem or they may just feel they are not capable of much.

    Young adults may feel they are lost, they do not know who they are supposed to be, they do not know what they want to do with their future, they may find it hard then others close to them do not seem to know who they are.

    Adults – where do we start and where do we end? Emotional issues do not disappear unless they are dealt with. Whether it is underlying issues with relationships with parents, siblings, friends. Issues with husbands, partners…. not feeling confident as a parent, not feeling capable as a person, not feeling loved – the list is endless.

    I strongly believe if we were all a little bit more honest about how ‘not perfect’ our lives are, it would normalise a lot of this and maybe people would find it easier to talk about emotional issues with each other.

    If we teach our kids it is ‘ok’ not to be the best in the class, the most popular, the sportiest – they need to know it is ok not to feel ‘ok’. It is ok to be sad, to be angry, to be lonely, to be confused. It is ok.

    Communication is a two way street, maybe if we share our feelings more (where appropriate) with our kids, we can help normalize feelings for them. Kids need to believe they are loved unconditionally – whether they make the first team in rugby or not – whether they get top grades or not. Too many times we see kids playing out a role to please their parents – please be careful of this as this kid will not find it easy to be true to himself – if he is trying to be someone else to please his parents. This may sound harsh but unfortunately is a harsh reality and one I see too often. Kids need to believe it is ok to be themselves. It is ok to fail, to ask for help, it is ok to be different, it is ok to follow ‘their own’ dreams.

    It is not always easy to accept your child is not going to be the rugby player you presumed he would, or the doctor you had hoped she would, but it is time we all really listened to our kids and understand who they are and who they hope to be. I do believe this is one little step that would really help. There is no benefit to us having doctors who want to be artists, teachers who want to be doctors, bankers who want to be social workers etc….if we were all a little bit more honest and a little bit more accepting we might end up with the best doctors, teachers, artists, bankers, social workers because this would be their passion – their ‘own’ passion and that will ensure they will be ‘the best they can be’.

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    Self-respect – Understanding Your Impact on Yourself

    Self-respect
    Having self-respect means standing by our values and treating ourselves with as much kindness, patience, compassion, and understanding that we would have with our best friend, our favourite teacher, or our favourite relative.
    the word “respect” means to hold in esteem or honour; to show regard or consideration for. The word “self-respect” means to hold “proper esteem or regard for the dignity of one’s character”.
    An easy way to talk with our kids about self-respect is to teach them to treat themselves as they would treat others (like your best friend, your favourite teacher, or your favourite relative).
    So if we look at the complete definition it means “treat others the way you would want to be treated and treat yourself as you would treat others.”
    Too many people live in a world of “self-beat-up” – putting themselves down and saying things to themselves that they would never say to someone else.

    Why is self-respect important?
    Self-respect is critical for developing strong self-esteem. When we respect ourselves, we like ourselves.
    How we treat ourselves impacts every area of our life from our relationships to our career to our happiness. It also impacts how other people treat us. If others see us put ourselves down, they may put us down as well. By having self-respect, we show others how to treat us.
    Coaching tips for parents
    How we can help our kids learn self-respect?
    We can help our children learn self-respect by modelling self-respect ourselves and by talking with them about the importance of self-respect. Here are some specific tips:
    Teach positive self-talk- if our children see us putting ourselves down all the time, how will they ever learn not to do the same?
    Teach children how to engage in positive self-talk. Kids should never call themselves names or put themselves down.
    2. Discuss values – Discuss your children’s values with them. Make sure they understand what they believe in and the importance of standing by their values.

    Self-respect – Understanding Your Impact on You
    3. Discuss decision making-
    Talk with your children about important issues such as cheating, lying, stealing, skipping school, bullying others, experimenting with drugs/alcohol, so they understand and decide what they want for themselves. This will help them choose their own beliefs when feeling pressured by peers to do something they don’t want to do. As parents we can try to tell them what to do but it is much more important for them to understand what their own values are and why they are so important.
    4. Choose compassion-Talk with your children about treating themselves with kindness and having compassion for themselves. Give them the tools for 
managing mistakes, handling challenges, and overcoming failure so they can stand strong and remain confident even when things don’t go their way. We live in a world where being the best and winning has become far too important. Kids need to understand that it is ok to ‘not be the best’ / ‘not get full marks on a test’ / ‘not be the most popular’ / ‘not be on the 1st team’ – it is so important for them to understand this at an early age. To do THEIR best is always good enough.
    5. Embrace uniqueness-Talk with your children about honouring and embracing their own uniqueness so they don’t cave into peer pressure to conform to other’s 
styles, beliefs, and actions. Kids often put themselves down because they see everyone else as better than they are. Teach them to honour and love what is special about them.
    6. Look for “teachable moments” – Look for examples to start a discussion. If you see someone treating themselves with respect, point it out as an example of 
self-respect. The opposite is true too. If you see someone allowing others to treat them poorly, point it out as an example of a lack of self-respect. Then ask them how each situation would make them feel if it was them.
    7. Discuss how to be in a relationship–As your children get older, talk with them about how to be in a relationship with someone. Lack of respect within relationships is at an all time high amongst teens. Up loading inappropriate images, conversations and videos is becoming a real problem. This is both in friendship and romantic relationship.
    Remember that children learn from everything we say and do (they are constantly developing belief systems (both consciously and subconsciously based on what they hear and see). We can help our kids learn to have self-respect by demonstrating respectful behaviour towards ourselves. It is impossible to behave perfectly all the time but to become more aware of what our children notice and hear is so important. By their nature alone they will watch and listen to as much as they possibly can at home – even behind closed doors.
    Key points
    1. Treating yourself with respect and demanding that others treat you with respect is a choice.
    2. You are not showing self-respect when you “put yourself down” or “beat your self up”.
    3. You are not showing self-respect when you allow others to put you down or be verbally, physically, or emotionally abusive towards you.
    4. You are not showing self-respect when you put others needs before your own to the detriment of yourself.
    5. Saying “yes” to your values and “no” to peer pressure develops powerful self- respect.

    It is not always easy to stand up to peer pressure but if your kids understand respect, understand what values mean and how important they are – and if they see your values and how you live by them, you will go a long way to helping them be stronger, more confident kids.

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    Kids Are Struggling – We Must Reach Them Early

    When Michael was 10 years old, he had the opportunity that every young rugby player dreams of!
    It was the last 2 minutes of the game and he had an easy kick to put his team in the lead. He had a chance to win the game for his team!
    He took a few steps back, looked at the bars and kicked the ball – but it went wide. There was a loud moan from the crowd. The match was over and Michael’s team lost the match.
    Michael left the pitch mumbling to himself “I’m such a loser. I quit.” Michael was humiliated and he no longer wanted to play rugby.
    You have probably seen something like this happen before. It may not have been a rugby game––but some event in life where you, your child, or someone you cared about faced a big disappointment and just wilted before your eyes.
    When faced with challenges or disappointments, most kids don’t have the tools to handle them.
    ‘Emotional First Aid’, what is it? Kids know when they cut their finger, they but a plaster on it – when they burn their hands, they run it under a cold tap but do they know what to do when they feel disappointed, humiliated, ashamed, hurt, excluded, upset, lonely?

    As a result, they often feel down or give up on themselves—developing belief systems that can hold them back for the rest of their lives. This crushes self- esteem and it crushes self-confidence.
    Life events can “wound” children and most of the time their parents don’t even realise it. They might see a shift in their child’s confidence or self-esteem, but they don’t know what happened or what to do about it.
    And most of the time kids won’t tell because they are too embarrassed. They don’t want their parents, the people they love the most, to think less of them. Instead they cry themselves to sleep, often suffering in silence.
    And a lot of kids are struggling.
    Did you know that:
    ●  30% of tweens (children between the ages 10-12) experience headaches and difficulty sleeping as a result of stress.1
    ●  25% of children between ages 13 and 18 experience anxiety disorders.2
    ●  10% of children are actually diagnosed with depression before the age of 18.3

    The World Health Organisation reported that depression is “the predominant cause of illness and disability” for children and teens age 10 to 19-years-old, worldwide. The statistics are even more staggering when you consider the report found suicide to be the third leading cause of adolescent deaths (behind traffic accidents, and HIV/AIDS).4
    Something is clearly not working when one child in every ten (10%) is clinically depressed by the time they reach adulthood.
    And when suicide is the third leading cause of death, worldwide, for children between the ages of 10-19.
    Regardless of country, ethnic background, culture, or religion, millions of kids are struggling with how they feel about themselves day-to-day.
    We must reach kids at an earlier age to help them develop resilience, self-confidence, and self-leadership skills, so they can handle the ups and downs of growing up.
    And life coaches for kids can help! As a certified life coach for kids with Adventures in Wisdom Inc., I am working with many 8-12 year olds on a one to one basis teaching them the skills to deal with life’s ups and downs. These sessions are proving very successful. They are based on story format with each story holding an important life lesson. I hope to start small group sessions later this year.
    For any information on the above, please email me on eileenkeanehaly@gmail.com or message me on Facebook or call 0868112110.

    . 1 Psychology Today, “Is Your Child Stressed Out? Why You May Not Know.” 
2 National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/statistics/1ANYANX_child.shtml
3 Time Magazine Article, “The Happiness or Pursuit”, July 2013 http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2146449,00.html 
4 “WHO calls for stronger focus on adolescent health,” May 2014

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