Posts Tagged :

    self-confidence

    STUDENT PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

     

    JumpStartYourConfidence launches:

    PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT WORKSHOPS FOR STUDENTS

    (Primary and Secondary Schools)

    There is an inordinate amount of pressure on young people in school and socially today – from exam pressures to self-image concerns to trying to deal with the daily pressures of growing up – when facing the ongoing pressure of Social Media.

    Young people need a chance to connect with themselves and learn about who they are.  They need to be able to help themselves to grow in a positive way, physically and mentally.  To allow themselves to become ‘the best they can be’.

     

    These workshops aim to give students the tools to achieve this in a positive and interactive environment.

    Please give me a call on 0868112110 or email at eileenkeanehaly@gmail.com should you have any queries on these workshops.

    Please click on link below for more details.

     

    Student Personal Development

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    CONFIDENCE COACHING FOR KIDS

    Life Coaching is not just for adults – why wait?

    Confidence Coaching for Kids is a very effective way to help your child to deal with the ups and downs of growing up.  Every child will benefit from Confidence Coaching as it gives them the tools to deal with the many different challenges they may face on a daily basis;

    Dealing with peer pressure

    Learning to love themselves

    Knowing how to learn from their mistakes

    Learning how to to take responsibility for their actions

    Learning how to make and keep friends

    Learning how to make good decisions

     

    Stories are one of the most effective ways to make positive changes with kids.  Each of these workshops are explained through different stories in a fun and interactive way.

    Why wait?  

    Give your child the best gift you can give him – the tools to grow into a strong, confident, happy teenager and adult.

    “It’s not what Happens to you, but how you REACT to it that matters”. – Epictetus

     

     

     

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    How to figure out the perfect time to go for your goal! Don’t put it off any longer. A great lesson for us all – at any age!

    You may have heard statements like these before…

    • As soon as I have more money…
    • As soon as I lose weight…
    • As soon as I’m a little older

    …then I’ll go for my goal!

    When deciding the “perfect time” to go for your goal… you must look out for a sneaky dream-stealer called conditional thinking.

    Conditional thinking occurs when you think that something must happen before you go for your goal.

    To spot conditional thinking, listen for the words, “if” followed by “then” (may also hear the words “when” followed by “then”).  Here are some more specific examples:

    • “If my boss wasn’t such a jerk, then I’d enjoy my job.”
    • “When I lose 10 pounds, then I’ll buy new clothes.”
    • “If only I was younger, then I could start a business.”
    • “If only I was older, then I could start a business.”

    The  problem with conditional thinking is that you become a victim to your thoughts. The only person who can control those thoughts is yourself – not your age, the weather, your friends, your family etc.

    You see, the secret to creating what you really want is to declare your dreams based on what you truly want in life…and then managing away the circumstances.  The mistake that most people make is that they look at their current circumstances and then whittle down their dreams to fit within those constraints.

    So how can you break up conditional thinking?
    • The first step is to recognise it is happening and to challenge the statement or belief.  Are you really too old to start a business?  Mary Kay Ash started her company, Mary Kay Cosmetics, when she was 50 years old!  And what a success she is.
    • The second step is to take action…even if it’s just one small step in the direction of your goal.  Action puts a “stake in the ground” and lets the Universe know that you are serious about achieving that goal.
    • And the third step is to reprogram your self-talk.  Reframe the conditional thinking into an affirmation that works for you.  Instead of saying ““I’m too old to go back to school.” You could say, “I’m a lifelong learner and Im ready to go for my next big dream.” (By the way, if you’re 40 years old today…in 4 years you’re going to be 44.  You can either be 44 years old with a college degree or 44 years old without one…time is going to pass either way.)

    The perfect time to go for your goal is now…even if it just means taking a small step in the direction of that goal!  Learning to recognise and shift conditional thinking is a skill that all kids must learn.
    By teaching your kids this skill they will have a much better chance of going for their dreams. If you show them how to set little goals (from any age), show them how to put the work in and they will see that they can achieve those goals. Then they will learn to believe that they can achieve anything with focus and hard work. What better gift could you give them!

     

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    Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem? Part 2

     

    In the last article we asked the question, does your child have yo-yo self-esteem? Recall that Yo-yo self-esteem occurs when children’s self esteem rises and falls with the ups and downs of their lives (i.e. how they did in school, played in their soccer game, etc.).
    We talked about how important it is for children to base their self-esteem on who they are and not on what is happening outside of them so that their self-esteem remains intact no matter what is going on in their lives.

    Today we’ll learn three additional tips for supporting your kids in developing solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life:

    The fourth tip is to encourage your kids to identify and honour their own uniqueness. We are all unique in our own special way. Have your kids really think about what they love about themselves – from their values, to their character, to their gifts and talents. Have them make an “I love me!” poster which illustrates what they love about themselves. When kids focus on what they love about themselves, their self-esteem will soar.

    Fifth, talk with them about the power of positive self-talk. What they say to themselves is more important than what anyone else says to them. When kids learn to talk to themselves with love, compassion, and support, their self-esteem will soar.

    Finally, teach your children how to handle the “downs” in life. Teach them how to manage mistakes and failure so that they don’t define themselves by these events. Teach them how to manage fear so that fear doesn’t keep them from their dreams. Teach them how to manage change so they feel powerful in their lives and see themselves as capable and worthy.

    Learning to handle the “downs” in life as events, not only enhances self-esteem, but also leads to strong self-confidence as kids learn that they can handle anything that comes their way.

    Kids Coaching covers all of the areas listed above through stories and activities . If anyone has any questions regarding Kids Confidence Coaching please call me on 0868112110 or comment here. thanks
    As we mentioned in the last article no matter how much we love our kids or how much time we spend with them, we can’t give them self-esteem, but what we can do is help them develop it in themselves. Start this week by sharing the six tips from these two articles.

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    Does Your Child Have YoYo Self-Esteem?

    Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall with the test results she gets?

    Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall depending on who played with him at school that day?

    Does your child’s self-esteem crumble if she makes a mistake?

    If so, then your child is suffering from yo-yo self-esteem — self-esteem that rises and falls with the ups and downs of life.
    How kids feel about themselves often depends on what is going on in their life – what is going on outside of them.
    However, powerful self-esteem isn’t based on what is going on outside of you (what is happening in your life). Powerful self-esteem is based on what is going on inside of you — who you are and how you think about yourself.
    When kids base their self-esteem on “who they are” then their self-esteem can remain intact no matter what is going on in their lives.
    So if your children have yo-yo self-esteem, how do you help them shift from external focus to internal focus?

    Here are the first three of six tips for helping your kids develop solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life:

    First talk with them about what self-esteem is. Teach them that self-esteem is based on who they are, not what they do.

    Second, teach them how to separate the results of an event from who they are. For example, if they fail a test, that is just an event – something that happened. Just because they failed a test, doesn’t mean they are a failure. It just means they didn’t learn the material well enough to get the right answers on the majority of the questions – that’s it. Let your kids know that it’s OK to feel down; however, there is a difference between feeling down about a bad test result and feeling down on yourself because of a bad grade. Help your children understand this distinction and their self-esteem will flourish.

    Third, teach them about the dangers of comparison. When kids compare themselves to others – seeing themselves as “better than” or “less than” another, they are looking externally to determine how to feel about themselves. This sets them up for yo-yo self-esteem because they will feel good about themselves whenever they see themselves as “better than” another and they will feel bad about themselves every time they see themselves as “less than” another. This not only devastates self-esteem, but also creates jealousy, resentment, and a belief of “not good enough”.

    Unfortunately self-esteem isn’t something you can give your kids; however, it is something you can teach them to develop in themselves. Start today by sharing these first three tips with them. In the next article we will cover the last three tips.

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    How We Can Help Our Children To Talk About Feelings – Help Them To Be Strong Confident Adults – Help Them To Be Themselves

     

    This is an area I believe will become an even bigger problem in generations to come if we do not teach our younger generation it is ok ‘not to be perfect’. There are many levels of mental health, so many start with low self-esteem and self-belief. We are all affected by how others view us, those with low self-esteem can be deeply affected. When talking to students I often ask them – “if you have a pain in your tummy, would you tell your friend?” All answer, “Yes of course”.

    “If you are feeling low, upset, angry, confused, overwhelmed, would you tell your friend?” “Mmmm, maybe not”, was the reply from many.

    Why? Why are we so afraid of being honest about our emotional health? Physical health and emotional health are equal in importance and yet there is such a stigma attached to talking about feelings, admitting that all is not perfect.

    This comes up again and again in my area of work. Kids feel ‘no one’ likes them – they may feel they are not cool enough, smart enough, pretty enough, popular enough…. this is so sad and can have a very deep impact on them emotionally.

    Teenagers may feel they are not cool, not part of the cool gang, too fat, too thin, their skin is a problem, their hair is a problem or they may just feel they are not capable of much.

    Young adults may feel they are lost, they do not know who they are supposed to be, they do not know what they want to do with their future, they may find it hard then others close to them do not seem to know who they are.

    Adults – where do we start and where do we end? Emotional issues do not disappear unless they are dealt with. Whether it is underlying issues with relationships with parents, siblings, friends. Issues with husbands, partners…. not feeling confident as a parent, not feeling capable as a person, not feeling loved – the list is endless.

    I strongly believe if we were all a little bit more honest about how ‘not perfect’ our lives are, it would normalise a lot of this and maybe people would find it easier to talk about emotional issues with each other.

    If we teach our kids it is ‘ok’ not to be the best in the class, the most popular, the sportiest – they need to know it is ok not to feel ‘ok’. It is ok to be sad, to be angry, to be lonely, to be confused. It is ok.

    Communication is a two way street, maybe if we share our feelings more (where appropriate) with our kids, we can help normalize feelings for them. Kids need to believe they are loved unconditionally – whether they make the first team in rugby or not – whether they get top grades or not. Too many times we see kids playing out a role to please their parents – please be careful of this as this kid will not find it easy to be true to himself – if he is trying to be someone else to please his parents. This may sound harsh but unfortunately is a harsh reality and one I see too often. Kids need to believe it is ok to be themselves. It is ok to fail, to ask for help, it is ok to be different, it is ok to follow ‘their own’ dreams.

    It is not always easy to accept your child is not going to be the rugby player you presumed he would, or the doctor you had hoped she would, but it is time we all really listened to our kids and understand who they are and who they hope to be. I do believe this is one little step that would really help. There is no benefit to us having doctors who want to be artists, teachers who want to be doctors, bankers who want to be social workers etc….if we were all a little bit more honest and a little bit more accepting we might end up with the best doctors, teachers, artists, bankers, social workers because this would be their passion – their ‘own’ passion and that will ensure they will be ‘the best they can be’.

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    Kids Are Struggling – We Must Reach Them Early

    When Michael was 10 years old, he had the opportunity that every young rugby player dreams of!
    It was the last 2 minutes of the game and he had an easy kick to put his team in the lead. He had a chance to win the game for his team!
    He took a few steps back, looked at the bars and kicked the ball – but it went wide. There was a loud moan from the crowd. The match was over and Michael’s team lost the match.
    Michael left the pitch mumbling to himself “I’m such a loser. I quit.” Michael was humiliated and he no longer wanted to play rugby.
    You have probably seen something like this happen before. It may not have been a rugby game––but some event in life where you, your child, or someone you cared about faced a big disappointment and just wilted before your eyes.
    When faced with challenges or disappointments, most kids don’t have the tools to handle them.
    ‘Emotional First Aid’, what is it? Kids know when they cut their finger, they but a plaster on it – when they burn their hands, they run it under a cold tap but do they know what to do when they feel disappointed, humiliated, ashamed, hurt, excluded, upset, lonely?

    As a result, they often feel down or give up on themselves—developing belief systems that can hold them back for the rest of their lives. This crushes self- esteem and it crushes self-confidence.
    Life events can “wound” children and most of the time their parents don’t even realise it. They might see a shift in their child’s confidence or self-esteem, but they don’t know what happened or what to do about it.
    And most of the time kids won’t tell because they are too embarrassed. They don’t want their parents, the people they love the most, to think less of them. Instead they cry themselves to sleep, often suffering in silence.
    And a lot of kids are struggling.
    Did you know that:
    ●  30% of tweens (children between the ages 10-12) experience headaches and difficulty sleeping as a result of stress.1
    ●  25% of children between ages 13 and 18 experience anxiety disorders.2
    ●  10% of children are actually diagnosed with depression before the age of 18.3

    The World Health Organisation reported that depression is “the predominant cause of illness and disability” for children and teens age 10 to 19-years-old, worldwide. The statistics are even more staggering when you consider the report found suicide to be the third leading cause of adolescent deaths (behind traffic accidents, and HIV/AIDS).4
    Something is clearly not working when one child in every ten (10%) is clinically depressed by the time they reach adulthood.
    And when suicide is the third leading cause of death, worldwide, for children between the ages of 10-19.
    Regardless of country, ethnic background, culture, or religion, millions of kids are struggling with how they feel about themselves day-to-day.
    We must reach kids at an earlier age to help them develop resilience, self-confidence, and self-leadership skills, so they can handle the ups and downs of growing up.
    And life coaches for kids can help! As a certified life coach for kids with Adventures in Wisdom Inc., I am working with many 8-12 year olds on a one to one basis teaching them the skills to deal with life’s ups and downs. These sessions are proving very successful. They are based on story format with each story holding an important life lesson. I hope to start small group sessions later this year.
    For any information on the above, please email me on eileenkeanehaly@gmail.com or message me on Facebook or call 0868112110.

    . 1 Psychology Today, “Is Your Child Stressed Out? Why You May Not Know.” 
2 National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/statistics/1ANYANX_child.shtml
3 Time Magazine Article, “The Happiness or Pursuit”, July 2013 http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2146449,00.html 
4 “WHO calls for stronger focus on adolescent health,” May 2014

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    Parent (s) – Number One Role Model for your Child

     

    Being a parent in today’s world is extraordinarily challenging; to say that most parents are dealing with more than they bargained for would be an understatement.

    Taking a step back to notice the impact your behavior has on your child can become a great opportunity to promote positive change in both your lives.

    It is the norm to presume your sullen teenager (or younger child) is completely oblivious to your actions – this is rarely the case. Teenagers and children are usually very observant of parent’s actions and behaviors. Actions will always speak louder than words.

    Take the time to think about your actions and behaviors in front of your kids. Are you behaving in a way that you would want your child to believe as ‘normal behavior’, ‘appropriate behavior’. Do you treat others the way you want your children to treat others. Do you treat yourself the way you want your children to grow up treating themselves.

    I often come across kids who are very confused about this. They may ask;

    “What’s wrong with shouting at my sisters, my mum shouts at her sisters all the time”?

    “Why should I eat a good meal 3 times a day, my mum doesn’t, she is always talking about loosing weight”?

    “Why do I need to slow down and take time out for myself, my dad never stops working, he never has time for himself”?

    “Why should I turn off my phone at meal times, nobody else does”?

    “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

    The way you value yourself, the way you treat others and the way you treat your time is a daily role modeling experience for your child. Is this a positive or negative role modeling experience for them? Do you put yourself down in front of them, do you speak badly of friends and/or family in front of them, do you value yourself and take time for yourself, can you say sorry, can you admit it when you are wrong?

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    Nobody is perfect, we will all loose our tempers, argue with family/friends, not take time out for ourselves – but this should not be the norm. The example we set out for our children and teenagers at home is the basis for the person they will grow into in future years.

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    If you behave in a way you are not proud of, take the time to explain it to your child/teen. Show them how you are going to make things right. Whether that is apologizing to someone, taking time to talk something through with someone, you will be giving your child a very important life lesson. Take responsibility for your actions. This is a lesson that will stand to them throughout their lives.

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