Exams - How to support yourself and your child during exams
Exams - A few tips on how to support yourself and your child during exam time.
REMAIN CALM & SUPPORTIVE
This may sound easy but we all know it is far from easy! Try to remember it is not you that is sitting the exams, it is your child. It is perfectly normal for parents to be worried about their child during exam time, but do try to stay calm when you are around them. They pick up on our emotions!
The best way you can support your child is to remain calm. If you remain calm, you have a much better chance of keeping your home calm, hence a better environment for your child to relax/study/wind down during their exams.
Try to remember your experiences with exams may not be at all similar to your child’s experience. Do not transfer your feelings onto them.
Leave the room when necessary to calm yourself, walk around the house, breath deeply, whatever it takes, just try to stay calm and supportive.
Little things that can help;
Start their day with a healthy breakfast to set them up - exams use up a huge amount of energy
Offer to go for a walk with them if you think they may need a break/chat
Make their favourite foods
Have healthy snacks available
Keep the smaller children out of their way (arrange playdates where possible- I know not easy at the moment)
Let them know you are there if they need you
Leave little treats in their room (quietly supporting them)
Keep regular sleep patterns
If they are having trouble sleeping, suggest a bath/shower followed by pjs with hot chocolate, reading, listen to music, anything they find calming that may help them to relax their minds.
It is vital they get enough sleep, without good quality sleep we all struggle, let alone a child facing exams the following morning.
Give them a hug (when they allow it), you don’t have to say anything - a good hug says it all.
Different things appeal to different kids, you know your child best - all they want to know is that you are there for them, you believe in them and you understand this is a tough time for them. Communication may become very tense (that is normal), just remember you are the adult here, you are not sitting the exams - they are, try to stay calm, do not react, take a few deep breaths…… It really does work.
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
Get out for a walk, meet a friend, whatever you do to relax, it is very important you do it during exam time. You need to help and support yourself so that you are in a good place to help and support your child.
KEEP PERSPECTIVE
The Leaving Certificate is not the most defining thing in your child’s life. Your child is not defined by these results - some children are more academic than others.
Academia is one aspect of your child’s life, they also have to be sociable, trustworthy, positive, kind, honest, confident, strong, have strong values, have a good personality, believe in themselves (to name a few) - all of these things are also important.
Recognise the strengths and weaknesses of your child. Don’t put too much pressure on them to achieve what they may not be able to achieve - this will have huge negative consequences.
Encourage them to do their best - not your best, their cousins best, their neighbours best, try not to compare them to anyone else, their best has to be good enough, comparing children to others can be very damaging. Very often children will automatically compare themselves or put pressure on themselves to achieve the same as an older sibling, cousin, friend - let them know everyone has their own qualities. It is very important that they know you understand what their qualities are, that you do not expect more than they are capable of. I come across so many kids who feel their parents expect more than they can achieve. This is so damaging to their self belief and confidence - how would we feel if we believed the most important people in our world thought we were not good enough. Worth a thought!
"Why compare yourself to others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you."
"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
"Believing in yourself, is an endless destination - believing you have failed, is the end of your journey."